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Saturday, April 30, 2011
im going through one of my original cycles: some bad things happen that make me get so sad/disappointed/emo/pissed/frustrated and then i'll refuse to go for the next one, but then i'll chill and go in the end.
but of course i'm still experiencing the sad/disappointed/emo/pissed/frustrated part.
i honestly dont feel like going for the next gift session. like please, if all that happens there is just unprecedented things that no one could predict which results in mostly unreasonable and one-sided scoldings, why would i even bother? sometimes we just happen to not know what was going on, or maybe the instructions weren't clear, but at least we pulled through it right? and instead of learning from it or getting commendations, we just end up being scolded for 1+ hour. and during the course of that 1+ hour, we get told we suck, we're too irresponsible, we're too incompetent, we're ridiculous, we're disorganised, etc etc.
if you expect me to just sit there and not feel the slightest bit of anger, you're positively the most naive, most insensitive moron.
did you even consider what it feels to us? to try our best in something and end up getting scolded without being given a chance to explain? i know you're stressed and stuff but can you at least not forget in your anger that we're human beings too? such stupid things can be resolved merely with communication, getting both sides of the story. then only if you scold us i'd understand.
but if the scolding just comes irrationally because of your emotions and personal reasons, then how can you expect us simply accept it blindly without questioning your judgement?
i shall narrow down the many things i'm feeling to just two - disappointed and frustrated.
disappointed because me and a few others have just been told we suck at positively everything. and yes, we just accepted this fact without questioning. it's probably true anyways.
frustrated because this is neither fair nor right.
told my brother about today and just broke down in tears. recently i seem to be crying a lot more than usual. my brother seemed pretty concerned that everything is going badly, and it's nice to know at least someone understands. he wanted to talk to ____ about it but i think it'll just make things worse so i told him not to.
now let me clear the countless tissues stained with my tears and finish up the apple rosalyn left out for me. oh and i seem to be coming down with a flu.
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 4:12 PM
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
i'd rather run to the end of a rainbow and dance with the leprechauns
than stalk you online. please dont flatter yourself, i have better things to do.
zomg i honestly feel like typing out a lot more stuff on how i feel towards this person but nah, i wont waste my energy.
TGIF zomg gift tmrw ;DD looking forward to it as usual (:
hmm that shld be all, kinda lazy to blog more, so tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 10:30 PM
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
it's confirmed - ___ is selfish.
why is it that i'm always the stupid naive person who just believes in the good of everyone and ends up getting cheated at the end?
whereas there are self-centered people who just think of themselves and then gets their happily ever after.
it's not nice when you suddenly find out that someone has this dark inner self who has never ever thought of anyone else but herself. and it's even harder to accept it when that person is someone who you trusted. you never questioned her judgement, thinking there was a good and reasonable reason behind it. you just believed everything she said because of your dumb stupid self who thinks everyone is good.
so many times i've met such people, and so many times i've reverted back to my original self and repeated the same pattern.
no thanks to you ):
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 6:20 PM
hee reached home at around 12.30 today (: cldve reached home around 10.30 if i had left home right after school.
wonder why?
chinese exam zomg okay it wasnt as hard as i expected but that doesnt mean it was easy either :/ hmm. oh wells at least what i had studied (if you can call it studying) came in handy ahaha xD zomg but actually everything i did was totally useless except for what someone read to me zomg zomg lucky she read it to me! else my compo wldve been like freakishly boring and dry *phew*
went to plaza sing today with gek yee whee ;DD wanted to go as tanbo'13 + yajiun but alicia and grace cmi, clarissa had msp and yajiun had rs. zomg so sway :/ but oh wells gek yee's awesome company so it was awesome ;DD saw some other co-ers but we didnt exactly get a very enthusiastic hello from them even thou we were high so me and gek yee just left since it was awkward hmm :/
i thought syf shouldve made us closer?
maybe not then :/
honestly, we only got happy replies from jingyin and meixian :/ and ___ seemed pretty irritable so if it was caused by us then i guess it's good that we left :/
walked around and talked ahaha xD then went to times bookstore (: zomg ahaha gek yee's super fun and hilarious ;DD wish the rest cldve come too ):
was reminiscing about tnsco with yan ling ytd ;DD i think yan ling didnt really like tnsco as much as i did :/ must be because i liked liu laoshi loads hmm. haha i honestly cant believe i saw her on the day of syf - coincidence zomg! ;DD okay maybe not since i actually knew she was coming heh but i just didnt expect i'd really see her. and see her after like 6 weeks? zomg it feels so different. when i didnt have lessons for 6 weeks, i missed it so much but then when i had to go twice every week before exam i was super sian ahaha xD but still it's fun talking to her about co stuff ;DD
i feel like visiting taonan again (: i dont think i know that many people in taonan anymore, including my co juniors since they're mostly all sec 1s already but ohwells it's nice crashing their pracs and hearing liu laoshi conduct in that awesome way of hers, which is somehow really different from wang laoshi but both are awesome ;DD
anws enough about tnsco i shouldnt dwell on the past but focus on the awesomeness of the present - rgco! ;DD
hmm shall stop now i should take a break from the computer so tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 1:20 PM
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
zomg french test today should be passable ahaha xD
chinese test tmrw zomg okay i shall sleep early! ahaha xD really really worried i will suddenly black out tmrw :/ pfft worried :X
french today was super slack ahaha xD at first did revision, then was the test. afterwards was break and after break the teacher wanted to go through last week's grammar again since many people didnt come, then those who came last week just went to the library to do tache finale, study, do homework slack ahaha xD
anws that's all for today, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 7:52 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
ah hello (:
ahaha bio was super slack today, 2 hours spent doing only 2 worksheets and 1 practical in the lab, and the practical was super fun yet lame xD and when me and thiyana finished we just started throwing the beads around trying to aim it at the super freakishly tiny ahaha zomg of course i was an epic fail at that xD
stayed back for icas science today zomg was so sleepy during the paper *yawn* O: but before that was like break that was close to 2 hours since we had a free block ahaha xD surprisingly i didnt go out with jingyin, chiwen and the rest hmm usually i just go WEEHEE and run out of school during long breaks xD muahaha i'm starting to become guai and stay in school to do hw and stuff xD
zomg it feels super weird without pracs O: i almost forgot that i dont have to stay back on thurs and fri for 4 hours of intensive prac :/ it kinda feels like a part of my life has just disappeared :/
zomg sleepy sleepy i shall go sleep now (: ciao~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 6:39 PM
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
zomg played my new pipa immediately after coming home from sch, AWESOME ;DD the sound is super bright and nice and awesome! ;DD
went for a haircut ytd zomg my hair is now super short O: then everyone kept saying my fringe looked weird .__. anws my hair is alws kinda puffy and weird on the first day after a haircut. when i woke up i thought i looked like i had a pixie cut except it was overgrown ahaha xD
anws that's all ba, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 3:33 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
zomg first pipa lesson in like 1+ month ;DD seriously missed being taught by the ever-so-awesome liu laoshi and talking to her about co stuff (:
oh and my new pipa finally arrived ;DD
(after 9 dreary months of waiting haha xD)
anws we started talking about syf. she said her school's co got gold rather than the gold hons they usually got because the suona played the first note of zheng wrongly :/ oh and after talking about other schools we moved on to rgco's awesome playing ;DD
she said that nanyang's co seemed super "big" in some sense compared to us, both literally and figuratively. like nanyang's students were tall and big so they seemed larger than us as people in rgco were all my size (zomg she seriously said that ahaha xD) and then when they played they seemed to have more 气势 and were very tidy too. hmm :/ maybe that's the difference between us ba, which means we should work on energy level hee (:
she said tanbo seemed really soft too, and it's probably because we were sitting behind cello hmm. but she mentioned that dizi and suona were good ;DD whee for chuiguan awesomeness ;DD
anws thr's a bit more that she said but i nidda chiong through tuition hw so i'll say it another time, byebyes (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 12:35 PM
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
ah hello zomg i'm so sleepy just woke up from a nap (:
gift was awesome today lalala ;DD went there with my brother. combined the 2 groups for today's session, so i sorta expected chaos but in the end many children didnt come so i guess it was manageable ahaha xD did small book reading with my brother to this 4 super hyper kids ahaha the grouping was so weird xD then we kept calling 2 of them big boss and it was just kinda funny xD after that played games and then session ended.
a lotta people didnt attend the whole debrief - my brother and aini went to oka (my parents sent them there ahaha aini was freaking out xD), hui ling and yong quan left early too. so just left me, hayati, manisha, jeffery and waz, in the first place very few volunteers came hmm, must be the exams ba haha. debrief started off super serious, but ended off happily ;DD and after debrief waz and manisha left and me, hayati and jeffery went for lunch. zomg such a small turn out O:
mrted home with jeffery but he got off halfway so see his super stressed out cousin zomg what a nice guy (: first time i got to sit on the entire train ride home without having to give up my seat - 20 STOPS SITTING DOWN = BLISS xD
oh yeah, congratz hayati on getting gold for guzheng syf! ;DD
hmm yep that shld be all, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 5:23 PM
Friday, April 22, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
watched hua mulan just now (: CRIED.
yesterday and today have really been emotional days. i think when i cried immediately after leaving the sch stage yesterday most people actually thought that i had screwed up and therefore i felt so sad that i cried, just like how i think many thought ginteng cried because of just getting a gold. but in both cases, it's actually because we were so proud of rgco (: these few months have been tough but all of us went through it together and emerged from it with a gold for syf.
GOLD! ;DD
thinking of that word makes me feel so happy (: and as much as i hate to admit, happier than when tnsco got a gold for syf last time. and i rmbr during dance syf i actually didnt even know the importance of syf so i just danced and end of story ahaha xD rgco is seriously an awesome family with a super awesome strong spirit ;DD
WE PWNED SCH STAGE OOHLALA~
so let's look forward to conert'12 and syf'13 and hope we pwn the stage again and let the people watching go WOAHHH rgco is super pro! ;DD muahaha xD
tata now, dinner later with some friends (: oh wait before that i shall go listen to the pipa + piano duet version of hua mulan xD
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 4:14 PM
slept thinking of rgco (:
woke thinking of rgco (:
honestly i dont remember feeling so much love for rgco (: esp at the beginning, when i thought it was horrible since everyone was so unfriendly and unsociable to a little junior like me. then came concert, when i had to perform and some seniors wrote me messages even though they didnt really know me - ting wei and michellin's messages were super nice and even till now i still remember them even though idk where the cards went teehee :b i started to feel a small part of that rgco family (: after a while prep for syf started, and after finding out some really bad stuff i suddenly felt super pissed with rgco, what with having to attend all the pracs and stuff, and even having some people say that i _______. but then this year it just went up again (: okay i know sometimes when i was stressed i'd feel annoyed but then sometimes i also felt everyone had to contribute their best if we wanted to get something (: and in april, me and jingyin promised each other to be freakishly enthu about rgco, come for every single pracs no matter what, and tie three ponytails if we got gold/gwh. AHAHA xD
zomg it feels like my journey in rgco keeps getting better and better (: i wonder what it'll be like when i'm a sec four O: and even then it took me a year to suddenly burst into enthusiasm for rgco whereas it only took like one day for some (eg. dom, meixian, gek yee ahaha you guys are super awesome ;DD) i just hope i'll really feel proud of rgco once we leave the sch stage for the second time and as ginteng says, that we leave with no regrets (: oh and i wanna be an awesome senior to my juniors so they wont feel left out like i did in the beginning xD
and lastly, so what if we got gold? siying sent out an email ytd telling everyone that we should be happy with a gold and i actually wanted to add on something but i thought it may be irrelevant hmm :/ well i'll just say it here so after syf 2013 i can look back and read all these haha xD
one thing all of us kept worrying about was that nygh was before us, and i cant deny that that didnt affect our morale and determination whether in a good or bad way. but on the other hand, nobody can deny that the judges werent influenced by this too. you may say it doesnt matter but in the end it does. when i think of it i just keep remembering my comp last year where i was right before both the 1st and 2nd place, and they had learnt since 6 or something and were older than me whereas i was some noobcake. maybe i really screwed up, but even then the judges must've realised a big difference in our standard since they probably benchmarked me against those before me. anyways, i dont care if we just got gold, at that time i felt so much disappointment that i just lost all mood for partying with tanbo'13 + yajiun and i could tell everyone felt the same way too. but then when i think about it, i realise that i dont care that much. the judges may think we're only up to gold standard but as long as we know within ourselves that we're much better than that, it's good enough (: good job rgco! ;DD
listening to the syf recording now, i feel like crying again so much (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:57 AM
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
THE BIG DAY
zomg syf today O: so we missed a whole day of school (but i had aesthetics today so what the heck i dont really care ahaha xD) to prep for syf hmm i shall fast forward.
went to sch. SCARY. okay ginteng and the rest were super correct when they said that tiny soundproof room was the creepiest O: even last year during comp it was scary too O: esp since there was where all the super pro pipa people who've been learning since SIX and are now SEVENTEEN were praccing zomg zomg that room seems to be scary all the time ahaha xD anws back to topic, we pracced there but only for 15 mins so we left soon.
backstage O: it was scary too zomg O: i kept telling nicole and jinyao how nervous i was, and as usual they went "chill chill you can do it" ahaha xD oh saw the seniors of long long ago batches too ahaha xD we heard nygh perform too, and i dont wannna offend anyone so i shant say what i thought of it here. anws, so after a while, OUR TURN O:
i actually thought our performance was AWESOME ;DD the beginning of zheng was great - dom and xiaohan were awesome, and then the cello was really neat ;DD then at the tanbo part we didnt rush too ;DD and at the last part of the song i actually felt so moved by how awesome zheng sounded that i wanted to cry (': so then it was hua mulan - clara was awesome ;DD tanbo didnt rush again ;DD the fast part wasnt that messy either ;DD everyone really 进入状态 and almost everything was just PERFECT ;DD
after the 2 songs we left the stage, and then i was already feeling so happy ;DD and somehow when tanbo'13 came together and everyone was saying good job good job, i just broke down in awesome tears of joy :') i kept telling myself while walking off the stage that i wldnt do that. that's like the first time i actually cried happily for a while, mostly i just feel tears and that's the end of it, but i really felt super super super proud of rgco after the performance. we worked so hard together and we finished this awesome journey as one too (: it's like i finally understood why huang laoshi cried last time after syf in tnsco, why ginteng kept cheering us on telling us that we could do this together, why rgco is so awesome. we're one big huge happy family and if all of us put in our best, we can definitely perform awesomely (: it's just awesome knowing that 1 year plus of hard work paid off so well and i felt so moved that we were just that awesome ;DD
went back to school, stoned there for a while tryna wait for results but in the end just left for dinner. TANBO'13 + YAJIUN FTW~ zomg it was fun ttm! talked and bonded a lot zomg i love you guys so so so much ;DD dinner was great too, we got the family meal which just shows that we're a slightly dysfunctional yet awesome family ;DD RGCO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ;DD oh while walking around we also heard we got...
GOLD
all our hard work and we got a gold. i know i shldve been happy but somehow i expected honours :/ we were really really REALLY AWESOME and they just gave us gold :/ but anyways, i dont care what those judges think, so long as i know myself that we deserved GOLD WITH HONOURS ;DD
RGCO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ;DD
hee i wonder if ginteng, weiting, jiemei, koshae or sicheng's gonna send out a really awesome email to tell us how proud they are of us ;DD at least we didnt disappoint them (:
anws i gotta go shower now, only just reached home, so tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:40 PM
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
ONE
zomg it's tmrw! THE BIG DAY O:
therefore, i shant blog more if not i'll probably freak out or just end up taking too long and sleeping at 10 rather than 9 ahaha xD so tata~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:29 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
1 + 1 = 2!
zomg haha prac today was interesting and fun, esp what happened after prac ;DD but i had to leave early for my dental appt. poof .__.
syf in 2 days' time! had our last prac today zomg cant believe syf's so near now O:
anws that's all ba, too tired to blog much today, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:07 PM
Monday, April 18, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
three little pigs going to syf on 21st april xD
zomg THREE MEASLY DAYS left O:
got back maths paper today - I PASSED ;DD hehhh xD
currently feeling troubled about something :/ pfft why must our class be so uncooperative and not the least bit understanding :/ they think everything's easy for us (shant specify who us means) and when they just dont get what they want they start sulking and whining and complaining to anyone who'll listen about how idiotic and moronic we are :/ okay i know not everyone is like that, but some people really cross the line when it comes to these matters :/
thank god for jingyin, ru hui, en kyi and hui qing for listening to my thoughts during lunch (:
co prac was good today ahaha we played quite well i guess ;DD
anws that's all, nothing much to blog about today, so byebyes (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:35 PM
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
FOUR :X
the day's getting closer and closer O:
my teacher cancelled pipa lesson today bcos she has to attend her one of her school's prac since their syf is tmrw O: then one of the gifters have syf tmrw too O: zomg these just serve as reminders that syf is getting closer :/
took a nap just now (:
ahh cant wait for my new pipa to come! was smsing my teacher ytd and she said it should be coming around these few days. zomg i've been waiting for it since like july last year?!
anws that's all, tuition later poof :/ byebyes heh (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 1:00 PM
Saturday, April 16, 2011
for the first time since i met them i felt as though i wasnt a part of them :/
Saturday, April 16, 2011
5 days left O: i wish it was 55 more days :/
~~~ zomg i reread this post and found 357041293 typos in it, so i edited it 8)
today started off well. okay maybe not so much, since i was at the mrt with my brother heh. for once he was accompanying me on the train ride, but he was gonna get off halfway poof. anyways but we had to wait for his friends going to the same place as him. then due to some communication problem they passed our stop without realising. hmm so we met at another stop instead. poof so ridiculous. and they're super different from my brother's vjc friends (they're vs i think) so it was awkward poof.
reached gift with manisha ahaha saw her on the way to the cc xD no one was there but i found them at the shutter. okays i shldnt record everything that happened hmm. anws there were some people coming to observe bcos they have a prog similar to gift. but they didnt really affect us in sessions i guess, bcos today's session was AWESOME ;DD
so after session we had debrief halfway before going out to dabao lunch. so it started raining while we were at the place and we didnt bring umbrellas. jeffery ran ahaha xD then he brought back 2 umbrellas with him whee (: but still, 3 people to 1 umbrella isnt effective bcos i still got drenched halfway .__.
continued debrief. i keep thinking about something that happened then that i cant really rmbr what else happened except that it was funny i guess? but a few of them were talking about how terrible __________ were, and i doubt they remembered i was there? or if they did they probably thought i wldnt mind :/ haiz, i know they didnt mean it but it just made me feel so unwelcomed, unimportant and left out :/ why is it i just cant do anything right. i cant even show like 70% of the people (okay some people do know this) that i care about __, i cant cheer my brother up when hes disappointed, i cant mug as hard as most people and i cant even blend in and be part of something important to me. this is plainly pathetic.
but of course some people did notice i seemed down, so i tried to be happy. who wants to be a party pooper hmm.
mrted home. jeffery and zenneth mrted with me halfway ah whee company company haha ;DD they were going somewhere to find treasure poof. and they dont wanna tell me what it is .__. oh wait, only jeffery was doing that. zenneth's too guai ahaha xD
anws went home and joined my parents for lunch again near the mrt. reached home and slept - PURE BLISS ;DD once syf is over, one thing will be out of my mind and i'll have time to take afternoon naps everyday whee ;DD
hee that's all, tata~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 7:59 PM
Friday, April 15, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
ten, nine, eight, seven, SIX O:
harlo (:
finally filed my bio stuff ahaha my file was super packed xD
gift tmrw! ;DD cant wait (: it's like the one thing i look fwd to every week ;DD okay i know i've said this a thousand times alr ahaha xD
oh yeah, what day is it today?
IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY ;DD
seriously i dont get why people hate the song so much? apart from the crappy lyrics and the autotune, it's actually super catchy ahaha xD and it actually does describe how we really feel on fridays (: just that it doesnt use cheem english or literary devices :/ ZOMG i'm going lit ahaha xD
poof laughed so much with jingyin and huiqing ytd that i now have a sore throat and cough. and we laughed for like one hour zomg O: BUT IT WAS WORTH IT ;DD zomg what we did was really ridiculous but FUNNN ;DD
okay hmm that's all, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 11:34 PM
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
SEVEN MORE DAYS O:
hmm reached home at 8 today pfft. missed the bus .__.
tried going for morning prac, but as usual i reached at like 7.10 so then i just went there to hear them play the ending of hml poof.
zomg super sleepy now, havent even eaten dinner yet :/
cant wait for saturday where i will go for gift ;DD hee last week was one of the few weeks i didnt feel like a super huge failure whee xD hope it's like this again this sat ;DD
prac today was weird i guess :/ xiaozu was practically non-existent for pipas, since according to nicole clara allowed us to prac ourselves. so went to the next classroom and pracced. zomg at first we pracced jibengong then nicole tried improving our sight reading since she said once she leaves we'll have to be the ones to figure out the fingerings ourselves. zomg come to think of it i think we'll be pretty messed up without nicole :/ and when i'm sec 4... :X okay i shldnt be so far-sighted heh. then we pracced hml and zheng for around 2 hours before going to dazu.
idk why but somehow i didnt 进入状态 during dazu :/ zomg like really didnt feel the mood/atmosphere. but at least it was productive, since zheng laoshi came whee ;DD ahaha okays then there were occasional weirdness from jinyao, nicole and yuqing. AHAHA we were all laughing at the last part where jinyao did something really epic xD
zomg tmrw's friday.
IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY ;DD
why do people hate this song? it's catchy 8)
okay that's all, tata (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:25 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
zomg i almost forgot to blog today! O:
spent like 1 hour doing art homework. i was definitely not born to do shading. now my piece just looks like an entire page that has been shaded entirely by a pencil. pfft :/
slaved over lit pt script after exam and just now. i cant believe only me, jingyin and jiayi stayed back to do work. 2 others had valid reasons but the other person doesnt seem to want to tell me what it is and we (not i) have many suspicions already so i'm currently super annoyed. why does everyone alws have to be so freaking selfish? it's not like i'm the most free among everyone. who has their saturdays taken away and their sundays half-filled? i'm willing to sacrifice like a lot just to do group work bcos i 'd feel bad if the group screws up bcos of me, but still not everyone bothers. haiz :/ sometimes i feel like i'm the only one who bothers to put in 100% in everything i do and almost everyone else just takes advantage of it and gets credit :/
if we screw up it's definitely not my fault anymore.
geog exam was oh-so-difficult. english was kinda sian since it was 1 hour and almost everyone finished in 30 mins' time :/ but at least had ample time to check right ahaha xD
idk why ___ seemed so pissed with us today :/ we seriously didnt know where ___ was gonna be held so we waited somewhr and when we finally found the room ____ seemed so angry with us. then we went to get something and found the room locked and told ___ and they again seemed so angry.
okay please, cut it out. stop assuming we dont give a crap and then just feel angry at us. you may feel stressed but it's not like we're leprechauns dancing around a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow right. we're feeling the pressure too but you venting your frustration on us is making it worse. i know i'm excited for *** but i'm really not in the mood to have people bite my head off just bcos of their emotions either.
okay that's all, tired now. tata~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 11:04 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
1111 post! ;DD ~this should bring me some luck
i'm super screwed for geog exam. i didnt even know biomes was tested until today, and i spent the afternoon after piano just reading the textbook on the biomes. zomg i'm really really worried now :/ i really dont think i can maintain my grades from last year :/
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:46 PM
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
hee just woke up from a nap (: BLISS~
hyper today ;DD ahaha that's the symptom of a good quality nap ;DD last year i went for piano once super sleepy and i was rambling to my teacher that i didnt understand why i'm tired bcos i had slept a lot recently. and then she said quality not quantiy. zomg it seems simple but it's awesome logic ;DD i can sleep for 10 hours but still be really tired. so she said next time i should do something that will make me tired/sleepy rather than just lying down and hoping i'll sleep. ahaha so now i sleep after piano xD
that is if i have time :/
getting busier lately zomg O: i didnt have much time to mug geog over the weekend since i went for syf rehearsal and the singapore biennale. zomg it sucks when the upcoming exam is one of your favourite subjects :/ poof same thing goes for maths, and i ended up screwing it up :/
hmm okay that's all. gah maths homework zomg O: okay shall do it now, byes (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 5:54 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
SYF REHEARSAL! ;DD
not as bad as the previous one, which shows we have improved whee! *clap clap clap clap* ;DD
not as bad as the previous one, which shows we have improved whee! *clap clap clap clap* ;DD
zomg i feel so proud of rgco (: we've made it so far and it's just a few more days (11 to be precise) before syf ;DD i shld start preparing a post specially made to talk about how awesome this experience was ahaha xD
tanbo'13 + ya jiun lunch today! awesome ;DD ahaha xD zomg i wanted to get nerd specs but ran outta time ): hee at first we reached far east at 10+ and all the shops were closed and the place looked super dull :/ but then we went out to buy our lunch and when we came in at around 11, the place literally "lit up" and most of the shops had opened haha ;DD
tanbo'13 + yajiun = AWESOME ;DD
oh and thanks clarissa and ya jiun for listening to my rambling on a certain group of people that i'm really pissed with (: hmph alicia you ruined the mood by constantly pulling ya jiun's hand to tell her to go home with you ahaha xD
oh did i mention i saw annette today? ;DD zomg long time no see! then i suddenly saw her at sch and i was super happy ahaha xD
we must have a 6i'09 reunion asap ;DD
anws that's all, shall go do chinese compo now, au revoir (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:26 PM
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
zomg today was awesome! ;DD
reached gift at 9.20, the latest i've reached so far ahaha xD i usually come at 9 hee (: then there was some mix-up with the keys and so we only got into the room at 9.30 pfft. so we did quick session prep and then let the children in.
zomg today's session was like pure awesomeness! ;DD the children were the most hyper today since the first session! and zomg they actually seemed to understand everything we were saying ahh so awesome ;DD at the beginning me, karina and yong quan were tryna entertain them while attendance was being taken so we sang animal songs ahaha then they were so quiet so i said something like, children i cant hear you, must sing as loud as us okay, in a super loud voice. zomg it actually worked? (:
after than yong quan and hayati were explaining the mask activity. so sweet to know the children understood us again ;DD okay maybe it's bcos it's an easy theme but still, AWESOME ;DD then they did colouring and when they finished we helped them stick animal ears (made with coloured papers) and ice-cream sticks on the masks so it looked like real masks haha ;DD while aini, hayati and yong quan were doing that, me and the rest were playing simon says with those who finished their masks (: jeffery kept popping up and then we'd say, simon says... laugh at that person! and the children really responded! zomg it feels so different from previous sessions when they'd probably just go, uhh... *awkward silence*
toilet break haha xD so i had to once again entertain those who didnt go, which meant reading to around 7 children poof (: then this girl kept on saying she wanted to read herself, so i took a difficult book which had words she didnt understand muahaha xD okay maybe it's cruel and mean but aini recommended that book to me bcos it's very interactive (: halfway i let ilham take over, but we didnt manage to finish the book since it was time for...
big book! it's forever the most fun ahaha xD ilham read the book this time (: zomg the book is like my favourite big book - i did it for my first gift idol and i just read it last friday (: i'm an expert at dramatising a sneeze now teehee jkjk :b
anws after that we played with the children a bit and then session ended awww :/
went for lunch after that. then we went back to tjcc. met the rest who were going for the biennale and did intros and games (: zomg ahaha awkward silences for like half the time. the bus came and we boarded. hee was such a long but fun ride ;DD talked to those sitting near me a lot whee (:
the biennale was AWESOME ;DD
sam was interesting, and the concepts were quite simple to understand. but some of the exhibition was actually quite sad hmm :/ but it did make a lot of sense (: and our guide was quite pro - she was funny and explained stuff quite well. there was this exhibition with 6 fridges and then we had to open and see what was inside hee interesting right ;DD
old kallang airport was quite cool too, thou i preferred sam hmm :/ oka exhibitions were super thought-provoking and we had to think a lot zomg O: we went in groups and then we walked into this exhibition and went wthhhh and just walked out ahaha xD i didnt see the disclaimer outside zomg O: but in the end we went back in to get aircon teehee :b then mrs t came to talk to us and tell us the must-sees in the exhibition. after that me, hui ling, june, sharnie, shobana, glenmond, jeffery, zenneth and ilham went to toast box to eat and drink ahaha xD
BANANA CAKE! ;DD
me and hui ling managed to trick jeffery, zenneth and ilham into thinking we were leaving early muahaha xD oh but we went to look at other exhibitions. there was this one where the place we stand has a certain radio frequency. so i went to stand at the place with 91.3 and it played music from that radio station. cool right ;DD
anws we didnt have enough time :/ but oh wells good things alws come to an end haha (: everyone went back to tjcc for dinner except for me since my dad was fetching me from there. ahaha being an easterner is awesome whee ;DD
zomg today was seriously awesome! even thou i came back super tired and just slept, but it was still great ahaha xD I LOVE THE GIFTERS ;DD it's great having 4 families - my real family (obv the awesomest ;DD), 207'11 (poof you guys rawk ;DD), RGCO (our passion for making awesome music brings us together ;DD) and gifters! (i totally respect you guys for your commitment to gift ttm ;DD)
12 more days to syf - jiayous! ;DD zomg rehearsal tmrw, shall sleep early today so i'll have energy for it. oh before that there's tanbo'13 + yajiun lunch ahaha xD yajiun ah yajiun :b cant wait (: tata~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:41 PM
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
is it me hallucinating or has pipa improved today? (:
prac was better than ytd (: but at first wls totally concentrated on diyin and xianyue so tanbo was stoning ahaha xD but after that then prac was very smooth and awesome (:
rushed to tuition again ahaha xD
zomg i feel like watching lord of the rings ahaha xD BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME okay! ;DD
anws that's all, sleepy now, byebyes (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:59 PM
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
one day, someone is gonna stuff a sock down your throat and tell you to shut it. not just that, she'll tell you youre stubborn, selfish and ruthless. at first, you'd be fuming. but after a while, you may or may not reflect and agree with the rest of the world that it is indeed true. i dont care what your reaction will be, i'm just waiting for the day someone does stuff a sock down your throat. but that day is not today, and neither am i the person.
i'm just too giving.
class stuff again. like yesterday, the same person has pissed me off. idk if my anger is unreasonable or if it's fair, but all i know is that the person is just too selfish. i dont think she has ever considered anyone else's opinions and preference other than her own.
another problem:
my lit pt group actually had to sit someone down and tell that person to do work. actually two people. and one of them was supposed to send me their work by 7pm but i guess it's overdue. well idc, it's not my problem anymore. if they want to screw the project up, all of us will get a bad grade, but at least i'll know i did my part.
but i just cant stop worrying.
idk if i shld just do all the work myself, or i shld really give it to others. i've been carrying a lot on my back nowadays, but seems like everyone still thinks i'm super free and that i reach home at 1pm and have a lot of time to do their work. if that were true, maybe i wouldnt mind. but, in case none of them have noticed, i take the longest to go home, i have more commitments, and i have still done more than my part. why do i always let myself get trampled on?
now i shall talk about co pracs.
it's getting worse and worse each prac. wls keeps pretty much telling us that pipa is horrible, pipa sounds terrible, and that we simply cant get anything right. we keep getting pointed out and told that we stink. wls even made the entire orchestra replay 20 bars just because of an occasional mistake from us :/
there's also this part which she keeps criticising pipa, but the thing is zr is also supposed to play it but they simply cant and therefore she doesnt even know they cant play it .__. okay i'm not jealous or angry, but i'm saying it's not right for co. if pipa can play it at least a bit (we're not really off i think) and zr cant even play it, then there's no point in that part right? but what i'm more annoyed at is the fact that wls doesnt consider how hard it is for zr people to play such a fast part when their strings are so tough and the instru is so large :/ she shldve just let them play the simpler version :/ but either ways pipa still sounds horrible to her.
i shall prac harder. i shall put in 120% for co. i shall make sure co shines and does its best in syf 2011.
okay i know i dont exactly look like the most enthusiastic co member, which is probably why some of the seniors dont know me, and those that do probably either think i suck or have zero interest. in the first place i'm not exactly a very loud person esp during co when all i can think of is that super horrible bar 169 and YINZHUN YINZHUN YINZHUN. pfft why is it no one can see my character properly.
the atmosphere during co pracs is getting more and more tense - wls is getting impatient and frustrated, co comm is constantly urging us to prac and shushing us whenever we make noise, the seniors are conducting optional pracs for us to go and prac. idk why the atmosphere in rgco right before syf is so different from that of tnsco in the same circumstances. in tnsco, if my string suddenly went out of tune, or i played a wrong note, or even if the conductor (my awesome pipa teacher ;DD) pointed out a mistake i made, i wldnt feel so scared or embarrassed. but in rgco i'm always freaking out :/ like when wls asked us to play bar 169 is was super super scared and jinyao was going "chill chill chill" :/ even rehearsals were more slack in tnsco, we were like, haiyo this is just like normal prac, never mind one. whereas in rgco it goes something like this, zomg our last chance to feel the stage! *immediate panic and freaking out* O:
not saying that's a bad thing, it's just stressful :/ thou i know that actually is how we're supposed to be like during pracs, instead of that super slack atmosphere in tnsco ahaha xD
anws enough talking, i shall go eat dinner now (:
zomg hope this post doesnt piss people anyone in co off. i shall cross my fingers on that. no i shall cross my fingers that nobody sees this :X i wld delete it, but i wanna remember how everyday leading up to syf felt to me. it's gonna be a memorable experience (:
14 more days to the day rgco will take the stage and shine like the stars shine at night (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 7:44 PM
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
should i simply hijack my project for the sake of fairness and equality?
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 11:05 PM
oh my goodness i feel so stressed now :/
found out that our group has to hand in the hardcopy of our lit ppt slides to ms irene by tomorrow. me and cheryl managed to push it to friday but it's still super rushed :/ last week ___ wrote on the whiteboard that only the first 3 groups were to submit it tomorrow, but turns out my group (the 4th group presenting) was supposed to submit at the same time too. aka. we have to chiong through our ppt slides. either that, or we're screwed.
just sent out an email to everyone in my lit group. i got the impression not all of them are taking it as seriously so my tone was sorta angry and scolding :/ i know i alws try to listen to everyone whenever i'm doing projects. i try my best to accommodate their preferences, busy schedules, etc etc, but seriously, this doesnt mean i have to do everything all by myself. i really cldnt stand it when people just gave me information, assuming i'd have to time to transfer everything into the ppt slides instead of simply transferring it there themselves.
now i know why i hate group work :/ it used to be a lot more fun in primary sch :/
___ pissed me off max while me, enkyi and kavya were telling the class about our aesthetics class project. i felt so much like screaming into her ear - you dont have to have everything you want all the time okay. so suck it up, deal with it, and you'll thank me later. but of course i didnt. i just go around pleasing everyone instead of voicing out my own opinions and forcing it on others, just like i always do.
anws that's all, back to lit pt and geog aa.
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:21 PM
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
SYF IS IN THE AIR~
zomg the syf mood is REALLY coming on to me now ;DD i'm feeling excitement rather than nerves or dread, and this must be a good sign ahaha xD
ginteng sent out an email telling us that we've gotten one more rehearsal ;DD it's this sun zomg O: ehh lucky lucky the gifters decided to change the biennale trip to this sat rather than sun ;DD hee then i can go for both (: ahh zomg thanks ginteng so much for all the "persuading and rawring and begging" you had to do to get us our second syf rehearsal ;DD
poof but this means no quality time spent with my mom who's returning from madrid this weekend :( zomg she disappeared for 2 weeks hee xD zomg i somehow find the super large time difference super cool ahaha ;DD
haha we shall all 进入状态 and do our best! (: rgco = awesome ;DD heh i suddenly feel super hyper and excited whee (:
poof justin bieber on the radio .__. OH YEAH I WANNA LISTEN TO FRIDAY AGAIN ;DD for s&d we had to come up with some announcement regarding our ccas, then i grouped with jingyin (CO!), prithipal (angklung) and naseema (INO), so our announcement includes that song ahaha xD awesome ;DD
oh and when teacher asked us for our ccas, me and jingyin were obv the loudest in announcing CO to the world ahaha xD
hmm okay that's all, ttfn~ some people have hw to do ahaha xD
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 6:51 PM
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
hellos (:
zomg so zonked out today O: usually mondays are oh-so-slack but i went for french today since i have to go for that rs workshop this wed. poof was so tired when i came home :/ was considering transferring to monday from wednesday but after seeing this class i guess not. pfft it's super sian compared to wednesday :/ and there are so few rg girls zomg! O: felt so weird ahaha xD so coincidental, somehow today so many people from my class decided to come on monday haha ;DD so at least we didnt feel weird, left out or anything (: oh and first time sitting through french class with gek yee zomg her french is like a-w-e-s-o-m-e ;DD
ahaha yesterday was epic i rmbr i was sorta laughing when i heard about something poof. but on the other hand the thing carried on and i felt sorry for the person D: weird little world :/
zomg homework ttm today! pfft and piano hw to chiong through too. i feel like cancelling piano tmrw so i can finalise geog aa and do other hw zomg :/ last year i rmbred feeling super nervous and scared whenever we received AAs and PTs but somehow this year i dont really care? guess i'm used to it ahaha xD but idk if it's a good or bad thing :/
ahaha i keep thinking of that friday song! you may say the lyrics suck or her voice is terrible, but you cant deny that it's a catchy tune that sticks in your head for the entire day (:
pracced a bit before french with gek yee. zomg okay somehow i cld play today but usually on dazus and xiaozus i suddenly cmi. hmm :/ RGCO FTW~ we shall work hard and do our best! (:
suddenly i mention rgco in so many post ahaha xD must be the syf atmosphere finally getting to me and pressuring me to prac even harder and harder hee (: idk why but i feel excited for syf (: ooh hope it's because of confidence that we'll shine! ;DD
zomg my mom called me at 5.40 in the morning today ahaha xD so weird to hear her voice after like 1 week of not speaking to her o.o and i havent replied to so many of her emails O: busyyy :X hee i shall go reply now (:
hmm okay enough rambling i shall get back to maths hw ahaha xD byebyes (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 9:23 PM
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
this is like the billionth week without pipa lesson :/ zomg it feels weird .__. i bet i deteriorated and stuff :X what with rgco pracs and stuff, i dont really have the time to sit down and prac my own stuff anymore :/ poof. but it's worth it thou, SYF!! JIAYOUS RGCO ;DD
even if we dont get gold hons i dont care (: i mean, it's important, but what's even more impt is the effort (: we shall all put in our 110% yeah? then we will suddenly do super well and our teachers will be super proud of us and somebody watching us will be like "woahh i didnt know rgco was so good" and the person next to her will say "duh of course they're plainly awesome in every possible way!" oh zomg i'm imagining too much already ahaha xD
pfft it sucks when you try hard and you still cant get it. and being told you dont even bother hurts the most :/
hmm okay that's all idk why i decided to blog. poof okay i'm out (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:45 PM
post #1100! ;DD
hmm okay whee awesome number ahaha xD must wait for 1111 now :b oh and jiayous to my brother for his pole vault competition ;DD if he doesnt beat his personal best i shall smash him into smithereens and throw him out of the house.
why on earth's my brother stomping around on the floor above me? it's creepy and i feel like the floor can just come falling on me :/
double tuition later :X missed one last friday for gift so i'm doing replacement today poof. then i had to reschedule my other tuition to accommodate this replacement lesson. ahaha xD
cheered up a bit since ytd. realised that even if _____ doesnt know that i'm putting in my best effort, it doesnt matter as long as i, and those that bother to notice or ask me, know it (: it's _____'s loss. she'll be the one going on thinking me, senior #1, senior #2 and perhaps another person arent enthu. she'll be the one who'll leave __ having bad impressions of everyone. she'll be the one who will never understand us, it pretty much reflects bad on her character for just jumping on to one-sided conclusions, gosh how on earth do you do well for history and geog lorms questions which requires to perspectives? (i sound like a nerd i know.__.) oh wait i'm not even sure if you take those subjs O:
people that cheered me up during this weekend! (minus family bcos if i do it'll be an entire super long para xD)!
- YAJIUN! ;DD zomg that tag was so sweet (: okay maybe it didnt make me cry but at least it made me feel like you understood me (:
- GEK YEE! ;DD pfft thanks for that super-dee-duper long tag ahaha xD
- GIFTERS! ;DD ahaha ytd was fun and epic! didnt know finding children's books in the library was so fun ahaha xD
zomg okay gek yee mentioned that nicole had a solo? STUPID if i had known she had a SOOOOLOOOOO that i wld definitely have cancelled everything i had to go! pfft .__. reached home like in the evening ytd so i didnt go. and i was in uniform too so obv i wldnt pop up in sch concert hall in that pfft.
hmm okay that's all. ahh tuition later pfft feel so lazy. anws that's all, tata~
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 12:07 PM
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
oh my goodness i just heard this really beautiful song (: zomg doesnt one's heart just melt at the music (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 8:28 PM
let's start off the post with sad stuff since i'm pessimistic. i felt like crying twice today.
first time was when senior #1 told me that senior #2 told her that _____[shall remain unnamed] told senior #2 that all 3 of us were anti-__. she also said we sucked. i mean yes, you can say we stink at playing, our rhythm is totally off and our fingers are stiff or wtvr, but please dont you dare say that we're unenthu about __. i'm not sure about anyone else but i know i'm trying my best, i never miss anything (i pretty much didnt go for a msia trip and this was one of the reasons) and i CARE A LOT okay. i actually knew this quite a while ago but i didnt know it was so bad until _____ complained it to others almost everyday. i mean, you can go around complaining but you'll never understand how we feel like if you just give others a bad impression of us instead of coming to us and talking right. so stop whining all day long and TALK TO US. do something useful please.
second time was in the library. at first i was super hyper then after a while remembered the above and started talking about it in that stone and emo face of mine (which is probably why _____ think i'm unenthu. felt like crying again (yes there were tears both times) but i just looked away. it sucks so much to feel unappreciated all the time by something i care 100% about. i know i suck and play like crap but can you please dont put me down and make my experience horrible? you alws say it's the effort but dyou really mean it? or dyou mean it's only important to just play well? seriously i'm trying to figure this out. and even thou i suck you dont even bother to help me. you help others who are totally perfect instead of those who, according to you, seriously need help. thanks so much for that.
moving on to happier stuff:
was totally unhappy during the morning due to the above. that was the most horrible since when wls asked pipa to play the beginning of hua mulan, which was supposed to be happy, i tried my best to be jumpy or smt but according to wls it didnt work out :/ idk if it's me or anyone else but idc since it's supposed to be a team effort. haiz. stayed back after prac to prac that part too, along with bar 169. i feel like a terribly huge failure whenever i think of pracs now. i cant even play properly, i thought i cld but i guess according to some people i plainly stink. during prac i felt like smashing my pipa in utter frustration and disappointment :/ after i found out abt the above i really felt like running out of the room and just sitting down on the floor outside to cry or smt. haiz.
oh wait this isnt really happy.
zomg thanks jingyin and yajiun for making me laugh today ;DD esp in the bus ahaha xD nice smses you sent me eh yajiun :b bus-ed to clementi with jingyin. ate there zomg subway long time no eat, and i actually saw foong chuan there ahaha xD then went to jrl for lit pt discussion. just the two of us, since the other 4 are doing other parts of the assignment. realised that we cant finish our entire part unless yongling and keerthana finished theirs so yep, guess we shall wait. but we did a bit alr whee ;DD
after that jingyin left and i went to find the ever so awesome gifters ;DD we were searching the entire childrens section on occupation books ahaha xD it was fun ba, i found this awesome spongebob book but sadly it's not occupation pfft .__. but i did find some (: then while searching i spoke to one of the gifters and it was then i just felt like crying :/ why's 2011 such a stupid and terrible year for me :/
mrted and bused home. shldve walked from the mrt station instead to save time, but felt too tired pfft. okay so that's all, tata~ nidda chiong geog aa now pfft.
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 6:53 PM
Friday, April 1, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
zomg i feel like such a failure today, even thou it was fun hmm.
prac was alright. came at 8 to prac myself, then a few seniors came and then they just stayed in ks chee. huibao pfft. cldnt play some parts bcos it was just too darn fast :/ haiz gonna have to prac loads more loads more loads more loads more if i want to perfect it.
tied 2 ponytails today poof zomg it looked weird ttm ahaha xD then jinyao and rachel were saying it looked cute whereas weiting saw it and went - eww that's disgusting. pfft. agreed to do that today with jingyin since it was
APRIL FOOLS ;DDD
heh but at least it was fun for a while (: cant believe we actually went out for lunch like that ahaha xD
discussed lit pt today. our group seriously digresses a lot and there's no kiasu person in our grp, which means we werent that productive :/
gift was awesome thou ;DD okay maybe not, since i'm seriously too used to saturday sessions, ie the quietness and unhyperness of awesome children poof. ahaha okays so friday was super noisy zomg O: ahaha xD but i felt kinda suck since i kinda lost my voice a few days ago so i cldnt really shout today, so i was in change of one activity but gladys took over since i cldnt raise my voice :/ and i feel as thou i kinda suck at interacting with children in a big group, it's loads easier one to one :/ colouring was awesome since it was pretty much one of the very very few times i managed to interact with the children properly :/
mrs t spoke to the parents, the children and us at the end of the session. debrief was over dinner. okay maybe not since very few people ate and we didnt discuss session.
okay so sorry this post is really vague and stuff, i realised all my posts of gift sessions are oh-so-long most of the time ahaha xD zomg feeling so sleepy now so nights (:
SUCHEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD~ 11:52 PM